


EWW Storm The Castle

by dobokdude



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Constructive Criticism Welcome, Criticism, Disney Parody, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 04:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10779576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dobokdude/pseuds/dobokdude
Summary: Star stormed the castle I'm gonna storm this episode... Parody of Cinemasins, Collaboration with Platyman Rated T for Language





	EWW Storm The Castle

Hey guys so I am back with another Cinemasins Parody! And again I have help from Platyman of Fanfiction.net so give him a round of applause. Seriously I’ll wait…

 

Anywho I’ve decided to name theseseries of parodies FandomSins! Also be on the lookout for the continuation of my story ‘’The Bright Moon and The Shining Star’’. It’s sure to be a good one;) Also remeber since this a collab sins contributed by Platyman will be marked.

Let’s get on with the parody! NOTE: SVTFOE belongs to Disney and Daron Nercy, Cinemasins belongs to Jeremy Scott and Chris Atkinson. Enjoy!

 

Everything Wrong with Storm The Castle(spoilers, duh)

 

 

Marco: I got ya, I got ya!  
Marco pulls her out of the hole, and she brings out the sandwitch

Star: (triumphantly) Heyyy!

Marco: Frustrated grunt.

(Platyman) Star is lifted up by a shot of gas from the orifices of the monster beneath and falls on her rear. Marco looks on in shock.  
I only saw this because I happened to pause at 0.33 to go to the loo, but Marco is clearly looking right up Star's skirt for a good 2 seconds at this point. The only reason the viewer can't do the same is the position of her boot, which is facing towards the "camera". If we are being generous, we can say that his look of shock and surprise is purely due seeing his friend lifted up by the spout of gas from the bizarre monster before him rather than anything else that might conceivably have captured his attention. Nonetheless as this is yet another scene with fourteen year old children that is perilously close to containing a lap dance. One sin (ding).  
What's with the surreptitious unhealthy sexualisation of underage children in cartoons Disney Channel? Can't you go back to explicitly sexualising them in your Live Action shows, like you usually do?(ding)

(Not really sin related but on a quick sidenote for Disney if anyone from the company is reading this, stick to the animation and cut the live action crap. From what my sister tells me no one really even likes those shows. But I’m getting off topic, I do that alot I’m autistic so bear with me.)

(Star manages to break free and grab the sandwich, but before the can say anything, all the tubes of the structure start expelling steam, which throws Star and Marco away. This thing reveals itself to be an animal, which then chases Star and Marco out of the cave and down the tall tree where it was located) 

Okay considering how hot steam is, how did Star not literally have her ass roasted crispily(ding)

 

. Half of the Sandwich is torn off in Star's hand as Marco pulls them back into the portal he has just cut behind them

Star: I had it in my hands, Marco! I have no idea what you were thinking.  
(Platyman)That sandwich was clearly pulled apart when Star pulled into the portal while holding it at one end, not cut. If that sandwich was already soggy enough that it could be pulled apart from one end it (which makes sense given the jungle environment and the steam produced by the monster) it certainly wasn't worth risking your life for it. It most definitely wouldn't still be palatable several hours later (ding).

Star: We went through all this trouble and this sad little scrap of sandwich is all we have to show for it!

Marco: That’s because it’s not worth dying for a stupid piece of food!(smacks sandwich into wall)

Marco would be excellent at FandomSins(ding)

 

I’m giving a sin because even after this sandwich escapade and the debacle with Toffee, it never occurs to Star to the down the adventures enough so Marco doesn’t always almost die on a regular basis(ding)

 

On that note it should have given her indigestion, unless Mewni biology means she can eat spoiled food… Na still calling bullshit(ding)

Angie: Oh Star, we were just looking at Raphael's old books of medical illustrations!

(Platyman)At what time does any of this happen? Enough time has apparently gone since Star and Marco had their fight for Star to have fallen asleep. It clearly wasn't late when they returned to earth, as the sky was blue and sunlight was visible through Star's window, yet Star went to sleep without eating her prized sandwich or anything else. However Marco's parents are still up and it's still considered early enough for Marco to have gone out to walk the dogs, so I suppose it's possible that it's not that late and the family just haven't had dinner yet. Nonetheless, the Diaz are clearly doing… something that they wouldn't want the children to see, and in public room, which makes it seem like its fairly late at night. This is particularly confusing is that they don't seem to have had dinner, since an adventure with a sandwich as its main objective is likely to have been started before dinner.  
Come to think of it, have we ever seen the Diaz's have dinner? No wonder Star was so desperate for a sandwich! Mewman cannot live on Nacho's alone! One sin (ding) and possibly a call to the child protection services.

Star: Oh wait, I just sounded Irish, okay, he wasn't Irish, write that down!

(Platyman)How does Star know what Irish accent sounds like? There’s no Ireland where she comes from (ding)

Angie: This isn't your fault Star. If anything, we should have been paying more attention to the two of you.

(Platyman)They say the same thing a whole season when Miss Heinous shows up, having made no attempt to act on it, and there is no indication that they ever will in future. Let's not be too hard on Raphael and Angie, since they do make the effort to come to the rescue later while being adorable and hilarious, but having them say this isn't intended to be genuine character development. It's just a device to make them seem just responsible enough not to lose all viewer sympathy while being clueless enough to ensure they never obstruct the plot. (ding).  
Perhaps it's a little too early to call Child Protection yet, but keep the number on hand, that's all I'm saying.(ding)

Hell, it never even seemed to come to their minds that perhaps they should expect a two teenagers of different genders with raging hormones could start to develop feelings for one another. Hell In the episode Star Vs. Echo Creek Marco’s the only one waiting at the police station. So double sin since unfortunately both Star’s biological and adoptive parents are neglectful as (bleep)(ding)

 

5\. Buffrog: My name, is Yvgeny Bulgolyubov.

Ludo: Oh, so you're foreign.

(Platyman)So, apparently there are Russians in Mewni as well as an Irish, though it seems as if Buffrog is the only one, since otherwise the Monsters and Mewmans, despite being locked in a centuries long war of extermination, nevertheless affect the same range of British and and American accents. (Ding)

Buffrog: Ludo! I wanted to say "thank you", for giving me the gift of fatherhood.

(Platyman) It seems strange that Buffro… Ygveny was so enthusiastic about the idea of fatherhood at this juncture. I mean, however much someone wanted children, most people wouldn't choose to adopt at time when they had lost their home and their job, and have no friends, family or significant others who can help them. Come to think of it, it's also a bit strange that the tadpoles are apparently conscious while in their eggs and grow legs without ever becoming free-swimming, which for an amphibian seems biologically unsound. Nonetheless Ygveny is one of my favourite characters in the show, and his sincere joy in becoming a father and finding something new to live for after being cruelly abandoned by his master is so heart-warming I don't have the heart to call this out. No sin.

Sorry Platy but adopting children you can’t provide for still seems pretty abusive sooo…(ding)

 

Ludo: But now Star showed up and I don't need you, you big meatball!

(Platyman)OK, one sin for that because it's hard to believe that even Ludo would be stupid enough to alienate an old ally in order to rely on his sworn enemy. Seriously, what is wrong with him? (ding).

Toffee(Enters Marco's cage and leaves him a sandwich, similar the one at the start of the episode) Eat something. Could be your last meal. 

Marco:Actually, I'm totally full. But if you're hungry, I'm a great cook. So why don't you let me out of this chair and I'll give you a taste? 

Nice comeback, minus a sin.(reverse ding)

(Star) NO. (She casts a barrier between her and the monsters and approaches the cage) 

(Star closes her eyes to focus on her ultimate attack. Her cheek marks begin to glow along with the wand. She focuses all of her energy and prepares to hit the cell) 

(She casts her spell, which easily breaks the cell in a burst of light and smoke) 

………….Minus 5 sins(five reverse dings)

 

(Platyman) Holy hell, those transformed monsters almost killed Star with a Chainsaw! If Ygveny hadn't come in when he did she might have died in a gory mess? Where was this killer instinct when you were still bigger than her? Not really a sin, but wow.

 

Toffee: Destroy it.

Star and Marco: Whaaaaat.

Toffee: Surprise!

Star: I can't… I don't even know how.

Toffee: Yes you do. It's the first spell your mother taught you.

(Platyman)It makes perfect sense that the Butterfly dynasty would have a last ditch contingency spell that would allow them to destroy their superweapon, in order to prevent I falling into the hands of their enemies. It also makes sense for this spell to explosively disassemble the wand so as to destroy said enemies, and then reconstitute itself later so that it can be retrieved. What doesn't make sense is making it the first spell they teach their heirs as children. It definitely makes no sense for them to teach this spell to their heirs as children without telling them what it does. Surely, that would pose an unacceptably high risk of a curious young princess deciding to cast the spell just to find out what it was, potentially destroying the wand and herself by accident. Moon has to know that Star in particular is just the sort of person who would do something like that. In any case, how was the spell to be any use of as a contingency plan if the only person who knew it didn't know what it did? If there had been a situation where the wand might have been seized, she wouldn't have known how to use it. She only learns about what the spell actually does because she is told the secret by an enemy who already knew about it. By keeping it secret from her Moon has ensure that the only situation she would use it would be the only possible situation where it was in her enemy's interests for her to do so (Ding)

 

Platy dude, let’s face it the Butterflys have just fucked up overall in terms of Star’s magic training. They give her the wand at such a young age simply because it’s tradition(why don’t they just change it?) and don’t even bother having Glossaryck immediately start training Star. Hell they aren’t even the one who bring him into the picture, he appears when Star’s in her freaky-alien-period! And don;t even get me started on the season 2 finale again…(ding)

Star throws Ludo into the portal.

(Platyman)Given that we learn later that this portal led to the inky void of space, our innocent little heroine Star outright tried to murder Ludo via a slow death by starvation and thirst. Not that she hadn't been thoroughly but, that's a dramatic upswing in royal ruthlessness. It would actually have been kinder if she had throttled the poor little creature then and there (Ding).

Thinking about this and then looking at how scared Ruberiot was at not finishing Star’s song under threat of execution at the end of Season 2, I’m beginning to think that maybe the citizens rising up against the royal family is more justified than we think considering the Butterflys’ homicidal tendencies(ding)

Tiny Unicorn: Mi Scusi

(Platyman) Apparently there is also an Italy on Mewni, but only for Tiny Horses. Amicizia e Magia, I suppose (I don't speak Italian).(ding)

Queen Moon: Did I leave anything out?

Star: Uh, there's a bunch of other stuff you don't know about.

(Platyman)This pertains to the whole show rather than just this episode, but isn't is strange that while both of Star's parents speak with upper-class southern English accents (or at least their American voice actors approximation of such), Star herself, who was raised by them in the exact same location and Social Class in which they were raised, has a faintly mid-western American accent? What is with this? Did Star watch too much American TV growing up? Do they get Disney Channel on Satellite in Mewni? Did River and Moon listen to the BBC World Service a lot? American cartoons set in fantasy works or the past have a strange tendency to just b*** on a British accent on a character to signify that they are traditional, refined or dandyish, even when it's incongruous with how all the other characters around them speak and there is no explanation of why this is so. Being British myself, it's always sort of bothered me (ding)  
So if your counting, Mewni apparently has an Ireland, a Russia, an Italy (at least for horses), as well as an Britain (or at any rate England) and America, the latter two being in the same place, since all the Monsters apart from Ygveny and all Mewmans have British or American accents. Are accents just passed one genetically in Mewni, like hair colour, and Star's accent is double-recessive, like being ginger? It would obviously be quite inconvenient if actual languages were passed on the same way, but that is apparently it's only the miniature horses who have to worry about this.

No wait I'm not done! I don't care if I'm the one and only person in the world who is bothered by this. I know it's all done for on sequitur humour and a way to quickly establish characters through the connotations of those accents, but from a world building perspective it raises more and more questions the longer I think about it. I'm giving it an extra sin (Ding)

Dude forget accents how the hell does Moon not catch on to this sentence? Especially when she should already be suspicious since she even says that Star was abusing her magic! Look Moon, you’ve become a better character but if you are this stupid then you deserve that ass-whooping you got in Starcrushed.(ding)

12\. Queen Moon: We fear the wand has been cleaved.

Glossaryk: Cleaved? Well that's a funny word.

(Platyman)It's to be expected that Glossaryk would be evasive about what the wand being cleaved actually means, since after a whole new season his true motivations still haven't been revealed and both the details of how the wands power has been divided and Glossaryk's knowledge of the wand will obviously be relevant later on in the story. Plus, it's just kind of his thing. What is strange is for the Butterfly's themselves to not understand what has just happened. The spell that destroyed and repaired the wand was the Royal Family's own secret contingency spell, shouldn't they know what it does? Why would their spell leave the repaired wand incomplete, and if the wand remaining incomplete wasn't an intentional part of the spell, then why wasn't the faceplate reassembled like every other part of the wand? Is it a price to be paid for sacrificing the original unicorn? Is it something Toffee did? How did he manage to fuse it with his arm when at that point his whole body was destroyed? He apparently did not fuse his arm with the shard until later, as we can see the shard lying in the swamp unattached to any wand in the credits to this episode, so it seems unlikely that the wands failure to be completely repaired was his doing. Perhaps these questions might be made clearer when/if later season address what the wand actually is, where that spell came from (Glossaryk?) and what Toffee's capabilities are, but the fact that the Butterfly's just remark that they believe wand has been sund without addressing any of these questions makes me comfortable including it as a sin, at least for now. (Ding)

Glossaryk: I hope you found all pieces of the wand.

(Platyman)Again why would they need to? The spell automatically returned and reassembled all parts of the wand, with one unexplained exception, without anyone ever looking for any of them. So it appears not even Glossaryk knows what this spell does! If the Butterfly's don't know what it does and Glossaryk doesn't either this spell comes form and why the hell to they teach it to each new queen! This is another issue that raises more and more question the more I think about it, and since its plot critical it's worth another sin (Ding)

(Platyman)Glossaryk does raise the very legitimate the question of why Star's exactly the Royal Couple isn't making locating the missing shard their top priority, rather than just leaving in enemy territory. The next scene shows that the wand shard is show lying right there in the swamp. If they had just stayed to look for it with a troop of Mewmans for five minutes, literally every problem Star faced in the next season, from losing her wand to upsetting her friendship with Marco, could have been easily avoided. (Ding)

Considering how powerful Toffee is at the end of Season 2, it seems there will be lots of innocent blood spilt in the wake of Toffee’s rise to power. So extra sin for fucking over not only their daughter but the whole damn multiverse(ding)

 

(Platyman)Perhaps this could be explained later or handwaved as magic, but why losing would a piece of the wand affect its power at all, when it can chars its size and form every time in changes hands anyway. In this episode Stars version of the wand got little bigger after it repaired itself, so why not grow a new faceplate? (Ding)

 

Sin total:21

Sentence: Shower with Glossaryck(If I go like this (Drops his towel) with both my arms, down goes my bath towel, cleaved from my body. )

Well guys here it is another installment. It’s late and I am tired as fuck so read, review and share with your friends. Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated. Once again a thanks to Platyman for his help! Peace!


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